Wishy-Wanty

Recently, I gave a friend of mine a difficult time regarding her attitude toward some of her distant relation. What followed was a mini-rant on not having much respect for people who speak in terms of “I wish …; but, …”. [1] The conversation moved on to other topics when she concluded; but, I found my frustration with the attitude following me home.

It took a couple of miles of speed limit driving to find the irritation. For me, wants and wishes are two very distinct things. Wants fall along the rough life plan - those things that someday want to be a part of my life and still believe to some degree that it can happen. Providing I do the work or get dealt a good hand one day I just might teach high school math or even get married. Wishes, on the other hand, are the parts of the life plan that have fallen away - either due to reality, or the consequences of previously made choices. I will not grow to 5’-6” tall [2] nor will I see my father again [3].

And while I’ll never really know if others make the same distinction between the words wish and want - I assume they do. So the “I wish …; but, …” construction doesn’t bother me. I even find it comforting if their “but” aligns with where I think that train derailed, as if we actually live in the same reality.

So, now knowing where the disconnect is, I can release this little difference and move forward.

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1. I know the punctuation is all fouled up. I apologize; but, am not sorry.
2. Those darned genetics.
3. OK, maybe with the help of psychotropic drugs.