Quo Vado?

Some random thoughts on colorized, carbonized, caffeinated beveragments.

From a marketing perspective, I understand why everyone has gone to the ‘refrigerator’ packs. Providing packaging to encourage the drinking of more product makes all kinds of business sense. As a consumer of the product, I hate refrigerator packs. They’re awkward to haul, don’t fit into my cell’s bookcase nicely and in general don’t do me any good. Please give me back boxes of cans stored in a three by four configuration.

The ‘drink by’ dates have gotten shorter as well. What’s up with that? Have they made the drink more acidic, thus leaching the ‘aluminum’ a a quicker rate? Do they think that I actually follow that date? Am I not supposed to stock up when it goes on sale? Just what is up with all of these crazy changes?

The world must be coming to an end. No, really - the end. Bossman is attempting to clean his own office and I’ve transferred all of my shop drawing comments for the last two days.

I wish I could take a picture of Bossman’s office. It has to be seen to be believed. You can walk in it, but the volume of random papers continues to astound me and I’ve known him for more than six years. Each pile holds a variety of paper sizes. Some of the sheets have marks, others don’t. Bossman’s Boss found mark-ups dated 2002 in the piles last week. I told her she could throw them away. I’ve even been Shanghaied to ‘clean’ his office a time or two. He stopped letting me do that after the last time when I took nearly everything on a horizontal surface, tossed it on the floor, rolled it up and tossed it in the trash.

I try not to snark on the state of his office too much, as mine often appears as if a cyclone just blew through it. I however have to re-pile the stuff every couple of days or so.

My desire for brownie bites drove me out of the house today. I wasn’t planning to leave. I planed to do school work - which it turns out I suck at - but I haven’t really done any of that either. Luckily for me, the weather outside matches my moo - overcast and drizzly.

I’ve decided to do something different. Instead of making promises - even if they’re disguised as goals - to myself for any length of time, for any amount of repetition, I’m going to make each promise a one time deal. I failed to keep any of last weeks goals for longer than three days, and spent the entire weekend sulking (and getting nothing done) because of it.

This morning, I had a minor victory. I kept my first promise of the week. I got out of bed at the first alarm. Now, I’m here at work and am going to get busy. Who knows what the next victory will be.

As I strolled back from the bagel shop this afternoon, I wondered where the list Bossman gave me when I hired on went. I remember reading it an thinking that everything in it was doable, though not really me. What I find ironic is that the two things I do remember from the list are two that I don’t do.

The more forgivable of the the two rules I flagrantly ignore is the definition of ‘lunch hour.’ I’m supposed to take an hour for lunch between 11:30a and 1:00p. Most days that hour doesn’t start until sometime between 12:30p and 1:00p. Bossman doesn’t give me grief on this one because I don’t have a lot of scheduled things and most of my clients are currently in the central time zone so my being out doesn’t cause too many annoyances.

I hate to admit this, but the rule I break habitually is the being to work by 8:30a. I’m rarely in here that early - not even with a five minute grace period. I have great intentions (just ask Jess) and lousy follow through. I could give you a lot of excuses, and believe me I have them, but it boils down to the fact that I just don’t want to be here doing this and I haven’t for a very long time.

Julie did it, so I’m going to follow along. So, I made a Johari window, which you can find here. If you feel like filling it in, please feel free.

Three our four years ago Eliza, Dr. France [1] and I were sitting on the kitchen counters talking when I threw out a random comment that a date I would have that weekend would require a dress level of seven and three-quarters. That little conversation inspired the Nine Levels of Dress.

Nine Levels of Dress

1. Grub: Basic sleep wear or stuff you’d wear around the house on a snowy day. Sleeping pants or sweats and a gray t-shirt. I suppose you could wear a different colored t-shirt, but for some reason the gray ones always feel the best.
2. Jeans and a T-Shirt: This is what I usually wear to work, though the t-shirt is solid with a bit of piping at the neckline.
3. Jeans and a Polo: A slightly more dressed up look, especially if I remember to the laundry in a timely fashion. I currently have thirteen polos in my closet, with two sets of duplicates.
4. Jeans and a Button Down: Here a button down represents a more formal shirt - thus it’s less comfortable and worth a new level.
5. Slacks and a Polo: Yes, just switching from jeans to slacks will bump your level of dress by two. Partially because slacks require a more refined shoe, partially because slacks move in a funny manner, but mostly because women’s slacks often come with no/poor pockets. I wore some today and it was odd to feel such a lightweight fabric.
6. Slacks and a Sweater I find sweaters attractive, but sniffling, so it takes more for me to wear one.
7. Dress or Skirt and Shirt Combination: I don’t move like a girl. I don’t sit like a girl. I like sitting on the floor. I often forget what the appropriate decorum is when wearing a skirt. That and skirts require fussy shoes.
8. Business Formal: I couldn’t tell you what on earth business formal is, but I do know it’s fancier and smancier than what I’d wear to the office on a bad day. Just add sparkles?
9. Full Formal: I’ve never done the evening thing, but I’ve been in enough weddings to know that I’m all for the JotP.

There are extra points available as follows:

• 0.500 points for makeup
• 0.500 points for non-riding boot heels
• 0.125 points for each type of jewelry

[1]: See the troupe page for a who’s who list.

As a perpetually single unattached woman I have a special distain my heart for this holiday. Come to think of it, I didn’t appreciate it much when I was dating, hmm. So, here are my tips for surviving this day of bliss.

1. Hide under the covers if you can. All day.
2. Don’t turn on anything connected to the outside world.
3. Work from early in the morning to late in the evening.
4. Do not go into a restaurant after five o’clock.
5. Date everything you receive or send today 15FEB06 -1.
6. If you have to leave the house, dress up.
7. Wear your glasses as little as possible - I’m less able to see the stuff that way.
8. Work in an engineering office filled with mostly men and unattached/unsentimental women.
9. Don’t ask people about their plans.
10. If you cannot do any of the above, or they just don’t work, remind yourself that it’s just a day and grab a treat on the way home.

Some Goals for the Week:

• Be in bed with the lights out and all electronics off by midnight.
• Finish reading Chapters 2, 3 and 6 in my Educational Psychology text.
• Spend some time in meditation each day.

I could go on and on, but I don’t want to become overwhelmed.

For a long time it had seemed to me that life was about to begin — real life. But there was always some obstacle in the way. Something to be got through first, some unfinished business, time still to be served, a debt to be paid. Then life would begin. At last it dawned on me that these obstacles were my life.

- Fr. Alfred D’Souza

Beautiful flowers to make me smile.I get this vibe on the rare occasions when I talk to people about me - or even in the things they say in passing - that, with the exception of Bossman, most people see me as a reasonably stable, self-sufficient person. That perception of others perceptions bothers me. I don’t know if I’m bugged by the idea that I seem to somehow be without great emotion, or if I feel locked into not expressing those emotions because I know they’ll freak someone out and we’ll end up with a bigger problem on our hands. Am I stifled because I’m naturally stifled? Or, am I reticent because I don’t want to burden others? Or, do I just keep quiet because those around me couldn’t handle me having a break?

Alm and I occasionally have conversations about what our future husbands will be like. Yeah, I know - what a girly conversation. She routinely asserts that I’m going to find a guy who just emotes like mad. One who possesses and identifies his feelings out loud with regularity. Someone, if God’s sense of humor is just right, who could be described as living dramatically. Every time she says that I want to scream. I want to jump up and down and yell that I want to be the one who doesn’t always have it together. I want to not have to worry if it’s an appropriate time to loose it. I don’t want to be glue. I just don’t. The pressure sucks, it’s isolating, and demanding. I just want to be me with my bumps occurring out loud.

A make-shift can holder - for when you just can’t reach that extra nine inches to the side table.As I read through the definitions of the various developmental models in in the Educational Psychology text I’m reading, it strikes me that it’s a good thing that I’m reading this now instead of when I was in college. I’m already fighting the, where do I fit in and how how am I screwed up battles. I’d hate to see what the last several years would have been like if I’d even had a bit of mental access to these concepts and ideas. I do too much navel gazing as it is. Is it wrong to be concerned that I’m now acquiring the language to go along with the act? Will it make it last longer, or will having the language make it all easier? Who knows.

Wow, I feel better today than I’ve felt in ages. I know a good chunk of that feeling better is the savvy combination of less TV and more doing something. Yes, I took a nap yesterday afternoon and slept in late this morning, but I still managed the following this weekend:

• Get my hair chopped off and my eyebrows waxed. I also turned MPC around six or seven times while trying to find the salon.
• Found a book at the bookstore that appealed to the alarmingly loud echo of emptiness floating through my veins. Searching For God Knows What by Donald Miller is actually pretty good.
• I finally signed up for the Amazon associates program. I don’t expect to actually make any funds this way, but thought it couldn’t hurt.
• Finished two buildings worth of floor truss shop drawings.
• Fixed some framing on a project I thought I’d finished a year and a half ago. Even sent the changes out to the artichoke and called the sub to let him know that I answered his questions through the correct channels.
• Showed Bossman my face, which just makes him happy on the weekend. The goof-ball, did however ride his scooter into work today. I know the snow we received earlier doesn’t really count, but it wasn’t a brilliant move on his part. Though, I guess if he crashed the blood would flow slower.
• Did some school work. See yesterday’s post. I need to finish my second chapter of human development before Grey’s Anatomy tonight.
• Meditated a bit yesterday. Somehow sitting still without the distraction of television worked wonders.

So, now it’s off to study some before we find out what happens to the bomb.