Quo Vado?

"The first key to wisdom is assiduous and frequent questioning. For by doubting we come to inquiry and by inquiry we arrive at the truth." – Peter Abelard

1. The regular world isn't made for short people - the construction world is even less friendly.
2. I don't speak Spanish or Portuguese.
3. I can't actually purchase a steel toed shoe.
4. The cold is evil and vile and I won't work with it - or in it for that matter.
5. I'm only graceful when falling. Oh, wait, I look goofy while falling, so I guess I'm not even graceful then.
6. I look stupider than usual in a hard hat. Though I don't know anyone who looks good in a hard hat.
7. I loose my voice to easily.
8. My getting pissy a people is funny, not scary.
9. Placing me near a nail gun is dangerous enough. I shouldn't ever actually use one.
10. I don't do mornings, and construction likes to start before the cock crows.

“Truth isn’t always beauty, but the hunger for it is.” - Nadine Gordimer

Oh, wholy crap.
Seriously.
Sometimes the worker bees I task make things ten times more difficult than they have to be.

The point number saga grew today as I spent half an hour explaining the proper point numbers to people who would have known what they were if they'd have just LOOKED on at the cover sheet for the packet of comments they were transferring. Or, in my favorite bit of uselessness, remembered what they actually did line-work for five days ago.

We're not asking them to design anything - for which the world should be grateful, but pay attention to the work. Or, if you can't bring yourself to do that stop bugging me and The Kid as if we owe it to you to figure it out for you. I have work to do and you're not helping.

For billing and other purposes all of our projects around here have project numbers: five digits before the decimal to indicated the year and the project number and two digits after the decimal for any additional services (aka point numbers) related to the project in question. There's nothing special about these numbers, I've used systems similar to this at all the places I've worked. What's really come to bother me is Bossman's belief that the numbers are free. Most of our projects have two or three point numbers; but, lately Bossman has taken to adding point numbers whenever he might be able to bill for additional services. The idea that point numbers are "free" results in projects with twenty or thirty point numbers.

The next time he comments on "free" point numbers I just might have to point out how much time we waste making the numbers, sorting out the time assigned to the numbers (sometimes months later), billing the services (which happens only once every six months when he takes a real interest in billing) and collecting the fees. Add to the confusion the ambiguity associated with many of the non-shop drawing additional services, and my routine difficulty in splitting out my time into specific chunks and there are days I wonder just why he focuses so much on point numbers. There are things we do that go above and beyond the call of the job proposal. I don't disagree with that; and, there are times we should get paid for our efforts. However, I usually try to do them without too much fanfare because they help balance out the mistakes on our plans.

"I will not die an unlived life. I will not live in fear of falling or catching fire. I choose to inhabit my days, to allow my living to open me, to make me less afraid, more accessible, to loosen my heart until it becomes a wing, a torch, a promise. I choose to risk my significance; to live so that which comes to me as a seed goes to the next as a blossom; and that which came to me as a blossom goes on as a fruit." – Dawna Markova

This book case keeps all of my half-size and 11x17 plans semi-organized. They’re sorted by client and each tab represents a single project. Today, I get to add three (possibly four) new tabs to the pile. All the while hoping to avoid a topical allergic reaction. Every time I really look at the shelves, I boggle at the amount of information my brain holds.

Life is odd. I'm functioning poorly. I've spent most of the weekend napping. Grabbing zz's here and there, escaping to the dream world. As Sunday comes to a close, I'm tired and my eyes don't want to stay open. Yet, I cannot stop seeking something, anything to distract me from heading off to bed. Maybe I hope that if I don't go to sleep, Monday morning won't come. Maybe this is just one more example of self-sabotage. Maybe the weekends effort to avoid the stuff in my head tires me out more than Bossman and his interruptions.

Two weekends from now I'm taking a solo retreat. Celebrating my birthday far from the flat. Knowingly choosing relative isolation because I think it'll hurt less than being here and feeling as if no one cares. I know part of those sentiments are false, I just don't believe very well.

PS. The sleeping pants I'm wearing, they're not mine, I borrowed them and am therefore not responsible for the contents of the pockets. What? You want me to be a grown up and take responsibility or something?

"Where there is great love, there are always miracles." - Willa Cather

As this news hits the airwaves, all I can think is the following.

STEVE: C.J., are you aware of the fire that happened at King Fatah Middle School?

C.J.: Yeah, that’s a tragedy. Chris?

CHRIS: Saudi news is reporting that rescuers were prevented from getting to several female students by religious police.

C.J.: Yeah, I read that too. Steve.

CHRIS: Does the White House have a comment?

C.J.: I literally just got this a minute and a half ago. I haven’t spoken to the President, or Chief of Staff, State or anyone in communications, this is just me.

STEVE: Well, do you have a comment?

C.J.: I don’t, no.

STEVE: I’m sorry, C.J., but you’re not outraged by this?

C.J.: [beat] Outraged? I’m barely surprised. This is a country where women aren’t allowed to drive a car. They’re not allowed to be in the company of any man other than a close relative, they’re required to adhere to a dress code that would make the Maryknoll Nun look like Malibu Barbie. They beheaded 121 people last year for robbery, rape, and drug trafficking, they’ve no free press, no elected government, no political parties, and the royal family allows the religious police to travel in groups of six, carrying nightsticks and they freely and publicly beat women. But “Brutus is an honorable man.” Seventeen schoolgirls were forced to burn alive because they weren’t wearing the proper clothing. Am I outraged? No, Steve. No Chris. No, Mark. That is Saudi Arabia, our partners in peace. Bonnie, then Scott.

The West Wing, Season 3 - “Enemies Foreign and Domestic” written by Paul Redford and Aaron Sorkin

"Of all the myriad created things, man is but one. And of all those who inhabit the land...an individual man is but one. Is not he, as compared with all creation, but as the tip of a hair upon a horse's skin?" - Zhuangzi

1. Being a lifter in a former life would have been beneficial. Between large sets of plans and multiple copies of shop drawings, I spend way too much time hauling things.
2. My time spent as a copy clerk would come in handy.
3. Geometry is way more important than I ever thought it would be.
4. There is never enough time to make things 'perfect'.
5. The 'real world' problems in school in no way resemble real world problems.
6. Class assignment juggling would lead to project juggling.
7. Part of my job is to be a pain in the ass while working with people.
8. I have no desire to be that important. Vacationing in peace and not working weekends are things I crave.
9. There would come a time in my life when clients recognize me as the one who gets things done, rather than Bossman.
10. Not receiving routine grades would leave me feeling like I haven't been doing a good job. Engineering Managers aren't very forthcoming with praise.

So, what are the unexpected things about your career?

The Einstein women were in La-La land when I picked up lunch this afternoon. I don't know what was up with the lot of them, but they weren't at all focused on work.

I had that thought you're really supposed to avoid earlier this week. I wanted to blog that the work load in August didn't look too overwhelming. I didn't in the hopes that the thought would remain true. Alas, in the last twenty-four hours three seperate projects have been added to the list to be 'finished' by the end of August. I'm not quite sure how this is going to happen; but, come hell or high water I'll complete all of the tasks. Part of me is praying for high water - this already feels like hell.

Lastly, because I'm a lemming: