Quo Vado?

And, I don't understand why people feel the need to write in all capital letters. The stuff is so much more difficult to read when it's ALL REALLY BIG. Text written in all capital form remains a still practiced relic of the draft board and ink days of architecture and engineering. I've found this practice makes the brutally long notes required to work this cover my arse day even less likely to be read. I've caused enough chaos around here, I think I'll wait to offer up this change.

Now, I know of someone who took writing in all capital Roman letters to an amazing chalkboard spanning art for. Even his brilliance couldn't win me over to the idea of writing in all capital letters. I don't even like my initials in capital letters, they take up way too much room. The idea of using the cursive capitol letters scares me; I don't know how to correctly pen the G, Q, S or Z. I do however like the capitalized cursive L, maybe I should take M4 again.

There are work projects on my To Do List that are forty-four days overdue. Yes, you read that correctly, forty-four days. I should have sent the shop drawings back to the contractor six weeks and two days ago. Oddly enough, no one's called for them yet. I think they've already installed them. Worse, other than getting the two projects off the bloody list, I don't care.

I'm avoiding the redesign of a crawlspace floor that had nothing wrong with it but the material. Apparently, this job will not go away and I have the pleasure of working to everyone else's unwritten specifications. Lovely.

Luckily, it's Friday and I have yogurt and granola. So, y'all have a good day.

Oh, man, if someone hadn't moved into the Cell today would drive me back into it. Bossman insists on hollering at his phone's speaker phone when he's the only one in his office. Semi-quiet is good. Hollering is bad. Bonking over head with base ball bat will get me jail time. [sigh]

Additionally, this morning I don't understand why contractors who take the effort to look up the cut sheets for an off-brand bolt they want to use are completely unable to check the applications chart to be sure that the bolts will work with CMU walls. Nope, instead I have to spend fifteen minutes trying to find the bloody information so that I can burst the bubble.

The early hours of this morning would be Professional Head Shrinker's idea of a good time. Or at least one that proved to be beneficial in the long run. Before the first alarm ring I found myself walking and yelling through the Old Homestead. Fleeing from the dinner table in an unrestrained furry. Using my outdoor voice nearly thirty years of caustic anger spewed as I lead Mom on a chase into a low maze. After the last pointed shot, I inwardly cheered at the dismay covering her face only to have the guilt of being so harsh having me walk away broken.

As the alarm rang, I kept repeating to myself, "It's only a dream."

I don't know if I believe it yet.

To be completely honest, one of the reasons I resist taking medication of any sort is my inability to consistently take medications on time over a prolonged period. Yesterday I paid the price of that flaw. After missing two doses of happy pills in two days my body announced it'd had enough and kept me in bed drooling yesterday. I don't know how long I slept. The process of coming off the happy pills now scares me. And, I ticked off Bossman during mid-year bonus determining week. So, it wasn't a good day all around.

The other problem brought to fore yesterday I didn't cause. Randy, the guy who cuts my hair, decided he's moving back to Idaho. His last day is Saturday. He's cut my hair for eight years. I've just started to feel comfortable enough to experiment a bit more. I don't know what on earth I'm going to do. I hate finding people to cut my hair.

Oh, and if you're going to have me come out to your site to make a site visit at least have most of the stuff on the last list finished. I'm more likely to believe you don't want to waste my time.

I didn't really move much this weekend. I came home from work Friday dejected about the week that didn't work, plopped myself down on the rocker/recliner and avoided movement as much as possible. The only upside to movement avoidance is that I didn't eat much. The worst part of the weekend ended up being the hours I spent yesterday night staring at the ceiling trying to go to sleep.

Weekends of full sloth lead to bad Monday mornings. I really have to stop doing this.

I walked into the flat with a post topic ready. Forgetting that Alm's parents were spending the night before she joined them for a weekend at her sister's house. So, despite my good intentions, there's no thoughtful post tonight. All I really have to say is that I'm grateful that the site visit I had scheduled tomorrow morning slid until Tuesday. Hopefully, by then the aches will have faded.

Oh, wait, I have Humility 101 on Monday night. So much for that plan.

If you want something read, typically all you have to do is put it in front of me and let me read it. I've read all four sides of cereal boxes, the side of my envelope boxes, and a large chunk of Chapter 16 of the International Building Code. Today, for the first time ever, I read a print drug add.

You're probably have to pay me to do it again.

Not only was the add overly verbose but it used words for which I'd never made up my own definition. Worse than the language, it told be what the possible side effects would be. Now, I think that's part of the FDA regs; but, don't the side effects sound almost worse than where you started? And, how do you know you're feeling side effects and not just effects? The small print portion on the back of the page made even less sense and it had math.

I think I'll limit my designer drugs to one for a while.

The list started three years ago when I began making more site visits to review wood framing. After struggling with version two for eighteen months, last week I updated the list. Sadly, the list grew from nineteen items to thirty-three items. So, to put the framers of the world on notice, if I'm coming to review framing at your site, you better double check that you've addressed these things.

1. Structural General Note X.XX on S5xx requires hurricane clips at all roof truss load bearing points. Add Simpson H2.5A hurricane clips from truss to double plate at [insert location].
   
   
2. Structural General Note X.XX on S5xx requires hurricane clips are from the double plate to the studs. Add Simpson H2.5A hurricane clips from double plate to every other stud at [insert location].
   
   
3. Structural General Note X.XX on S5xx requires hurricane clips are from the double plate to all king studs. Add Simpson H2.5A hurricane clips from double plate to each king stud at [insert location].
   
   
4. Structural General Note X.XX on S5xx requires a minimum two (2) studs directly below girder roof truss. Add studs at [insert location].
   
   
5. Structural General Note X.XX on S5xx require Simpson H6 hurricane clip from the girder roof truss to studs below. Add Simpson H6 hurricane clips from truss to studs at [insert location].
   
   
6. The roof trusses framing into roof girder truss condition at [insert location]. I'd expect roof trusses this long to have a hanger connecting the roof truss to the girder truss. Verify with truss shop drawings that hangers are not required at this location. Install hangers if required by truss shop drawings.
   
   
7. Structural General Note X.XX on S5xx requires hurricane clips at all roof truss load bearing points. Add Simpson H2.5A hurricane clips from truss to roof beams a t [insert location].
   
   
8. Structural General Note X.XX on S5xx requires straps at each end of roof beams greater than 5'-0 long supporting trusses greater than 5'-0 long. Add strap at [insert location].
   
   
9. The Stud Wall Schedule D requires unit interior load bearing walls to be framed with Spruce-Pine-Fir #2. The studs used at [insert location] were [insert species]. See attached schedule for required stud spacing. Add studs in the [insert location] load bearing wall as required to meet or exceed the requirements of the stud schedule.
   
   
10. The Stud Wall Schedule D requires unit interior load bearing walls to be framed with 2-2x4 Spruce-Pine-Fir #2 studs at 16" on center. Add studs in the [insert location] load bearing wall as required to meet or exceed the requirements of the stud schedule.
    
    
11. The Stud Schedule shows 2x4 vertical midway (aka mid-point blocking) between each truss at load bearing walls when the truss is perpendicular to the wall and a shear box is not required. Add mid-point blocking between each truss at [insert location]. Do not place vertical on the flat, but in the same orientation as the studs above and below. Where 2x4 horizontal band board is installed connecting the trusses the blocking may consist of 2-2x4 blocks on the flat. Where existing blocking is less than 12" clear to the truss on either side no additional blocking is required.
    
    
12. Structural General Note X.XX on S5xx requires that all stud packs shall be made continuous to the foundation level from highest point of bearing via studs in the wall below and blocking in the zone of the floor truss (aka point blocking). Add point blocking in the zone of the floor truss over jack studs at each end of header/beam at [insert location].
    
    
13. Structural General Note X.XX on S5xx requires that all stud packs shall be made continuous to the foundation level from highest point of bearing. Add studs in the wall and point blocking in the zone of the floor truss for each end of all mid-landing beams.
    
    
14. Section 14/S504 shows blocking (aka squash blocks) over full length of flush beams. Add squash blocks at [insert location].
    
    
15. Structural General Note X.XX on S5xx requires a minimum two (2) studs directly below girder ends of beams. Add studs at [insert location].
    
    
16. Drawings S3xx and S3xx show each bearing point of all beams involved in the framing of the cantilever are to be supported with a CP1 stud pack. Per note 7 of the Framing Legend, "CP1 INDICATES 3-2x4 STUDS. STRAP STUD PACK TO BEAM ABOVE W/ SIMPSON H6 CLIP." Add studs and Simpson H6 clip where required.
    
    
17. Drawings S3xx and S3xx show the LVL beams framing the cantilever to be connected with Simpson HU416 or Simpson HUC416 hangers. These hangers were not installed when the cantilever was originally framed. As the cantilevered portion of the building has been framed and somewhat covered, these hangers cannot be added without the loss of substantial time and money. Where Simpson HUC416 hangers were required, connect the LVLs together with four (4) Simpson A35 clips. Where Simpson HU416 hangers were required, connect the LVLs together with eight (8) Simpson A35 clips – four on each side of the LVL218 perpendicular to the exterior wall.
    
    
18. Detail Z/S5xx shows inverted hangers at the end of the cantilevered floor trusses. I don't recall seeing these hangers when I reviewed the LVL connections. As the cantilevered portion of the building has been framed and somewhat covered, these hangers cannot be added without the loss of substantial time and money. Connect the cantilevered floor trusses to the LVL parallel to the exterior of the building with two (2) Simpson A35 clips.
    
    
19. Sections Z/S5xx and Z/S5xx show four (4) ½" diameter through bolts at LVL beams in steel saddles over steel columns. Add through bolts at saddle condition at [insert location].
    
    
20. Section Z/S5xx shows ledger through bolts. Add bolts at [insert location] ledger.
    
    
21. Section Z/S5xx shows ledger through bolts. Tighten bolts at [insert location] ledger.
    
    
22. Details Z/S5xx, Z/S5xx and Z/S5xx require shear wall vertical continuity framing in the zone of the floor truss along the length of all shear walls. At the unit interior shear walls, shear boxes are required at each truss space along the full length of the shear wall. At the unit party shear walls, shear boxes are required at every other truss space. Shear boxes shall have four 2x sides and either a 7/16" plywood/OSB plate or a 2x diagonal as shown in Z/S5xx. Add shear boxes along shear walls as required.
    
    
23. Details Z/S5xx, Z/S5xx and Z/S5xx require floor-to-floor straps are required at each end of shear wall. Floor-to-floor straps are specified in the Hold-Down and Strapping Schedule. Add straps at [insert location].
    
    
24. Detail Z/S5xx requires blocking in the zone of the floor truss behind floor-to-floor straps. Attach straps to blocks with a minimum of three (3) nails. Add blocking at [insert location].
    
    
25. Drawing S1xx shows required locations of hold-down assemblies. Drawing S5xx defines hold-down assembly including stud pack, hold-down, through bolts and anchor bolts. Add required hold-down anchor assembly at [insert location].
    
    
26. Drawing S1xx shows required locations of hold-down assemblies. Drawing S5xx defines hold-down assembly including stud pack, hold-down, through bolts and anchor bolts. Add required through bolts at hold-down at [insert location].
    
    
27. Drawing S1xx shows required locations of hold-down assemblies. Drawing S5xx defines hold-down assembly including stud pack, hold-down, through bolts and anchor bolts. Add required studs and reset through bolts at hold-down at [insert location].
    
    
28. Drawing S1xx shows required locations of hold-down assemblies. Drawing Sxx defines hold-down assembly including stud pack, hold-down, through bolts and anchor bolts. Add required anchor bolt at hold-down at [insert location].
    
    
29. Drawing S1xx shows required locations of hold-down assemblies. Drawing S5xx defines hold-down assembly including stud pack, hold-down, through bolts and anchor bolts. Tighten required anchor bolt at hold-down at [insert location].
    
    
30. The Sill Plate Attachment Schedule requires ½" diameter anchor bolts or Simpson MASB anchors at exterior walls. The Sill Plate Attachment Schedule notes provide alternates for these connections. Add anchor bolts along exterior walls at [insert location].
    
    
31. The Sill Plate Attachment Schedule requires ½" diameter anchor bolts or Simpson MASB anchors at exterior walls. Fill all MASB anchor nail holes along exterior walls at [insert location].
    
    
32. The Sill Plate Attachment Schedule requires ½" diameter anchor bolts interior shear walls. The Sill Plate Attachment Schedule notes provide alternates for these connections. Add anchor bolts along interior wall at [insert location].
    
    
33. The Sill Plate Attachment Schedule requires ½" diameter anchor bolts interior shear walls. The Sill Plate Attachment Schedule notes provide alternates for these connections. Tighten anchor bolts along interior wall at [insert location].

• How is it that my SpongeBob mylar balloon lasted two weeks? I've never had one last that long before. Kid recommended that I deflate him and attach him to my office wall.
• Why do I love ranch flavored doritos so much?
• Who thought of naming a flavor over a piece of land that raises large animals?
• Why does the second day after exercise feel worse than the first one?
• Am I becoming lactose intolerant? If I do, what on earth will I eat?
• Just how stupid do I look when doing yoga?
• What smart person put mustard on the top of my sandwich?
• Why doesn't the world know about the amazing sliver removing abilities of carbolic salve (aka Petro-Carbo Salve). This stuff has pulled about every sliver I've ever had and a little bit will last for years. Just put some over the sliver opening, band-aid, wait a couple of hours (I usually try for overnight) and remove. Works every time. The stuff's be around for a long time. My family learned of it when Squid was breaking his arms and wearing a intestinal shunt as a yellow-bellied infant.
• I need to start a new work black book. It'll be number XIV.
• Why are so many of the above questions?
• If my brain keeps answering questions with questions, will I ever get to an answer?
• Dude, it's time to return to work. What fun.

Monday, June 18th 7:30p Yoga.
The appointment glares at me from the tray.

I pretty much uniformly detest exercise. Most exercise bores me to day-dreams and leaves me feeling more awkward and uncoordinated than when I started. I've known for months (years really) that I need to add some kind of exercise to my weekly routine. So, this summer I'm going to try to return to yoga. I did it for a couple of months about four years ago before the world hit a spin cycle and I fell off the wagon. This time however, I'm not going for the hot version. It's too difficult to find a class that fits my schedule and the last time I tried I felt way, way to gross.

After work I head over to the new studio, and try my luck at yoga once again. Wee, what fun.

I do quite a bit of whining here about the ineptitude of contractors. I just have to admit this morning that in general they're not bad guys. Heck, most of the time they're the only ones who acknowledge my work and make any effort to say thanks. SpongeBob (he's been floating over my desk for almost two weeks) came from a contractor. The happy people on the phone (who I frequently want to maim because of their cheer) are typically contractors.

So, here's to contractors for being the star players in my favorite stores and for being so bloody cheery.

I knew I was emotionally screwed. I knew my flight response was seriously overdeveloped. I knew I routinely worked hard to push people away. I knew my own demands for perfection were ludicrous. I just didn't realise quite how deeply the wounds leading to these behaviors went. I'm scared that I still don't know.

Beyond sharp bursts of anger, excessive sarcasm and occasional laughter I wear my emotions on my face rather than advertising them to the world through noise. I'm used to not being seen. Most people find me either emotionless or ridiculously placid. I'm not either thing, but without the vocal cues to draw attention I can ride the whole roller coaster without anyone knowing.

Unfortunately, in therapy, I pay PHS to pay attention to my face. This week he got a rather gross show. Pushing back against my misdirected annoyance he hit one of those spots that I wish would stay buried. (It never does.)

It's a little like paying to get my eyebrows waxed. I know it's going to hurt but it'll prevent my naturally growing uni-brow. Only now we're talking about trash. About how I treat myself like trash. About feeling like trash. About pushing everyone away so they can't make me feel like trash. About that whole process being stupid because then I feel like trash because no one sticks around. It's like I'm stuck in mutilating loop where the only way out requires facing a 'short' violent pain and working to overcome decades of treating myself craptacularly.